Itachi's Nightmare - Anti Sasuke's Ending
by ArtIAce
Summary: Itachi saw chapter 700 (The future) and was so shocked that he came back from the dead again to save his little bro. / Just for fun / Sarcasm / OOC xP
1. Chapter 1

**Itachi's Nightmare**

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**Note: Anti 700 / Anti Poke / Anti SS / OOC / You have been warned**

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So Itachi saw chapter 699-700 and saw his future brother and was so shocked that he came back from the dead again to save his little bro. He just appeared out of nowhere and was like,

"Yo! Foolish little brother! how's it going?"

Sasuke blinked, "Itachi?! How?"

"I came to save you, nerd."

"Save me? Wait, how come you're here? I thought you died, twice!"

"Yeah, I keep coming back. Anything can happen after chapter 700, so... here I am."

"I see… so, why are you here, Itachi?"

"To save you, usuratonkachi."

Sasuke frowned,

"Woow! Woow! Woow! That was so OOC! Like, only I get to use that word! I have copy right and shit on it."

"O'really? Fine, I'm here to save you, dobe."

"Hey! WTF! That's Naruto's nickname. Don't misuse that, Itachi. I won't allow it."

"Geez, so annoying! What should I call you? Foolish little brother?"

"Drop dead, Itachi."

"Already did… twice." he smoked an imaginary cigarette.

"Oh god... who brought you back to life anyways?"

"Um… Kabuto?" he guessed.

"You don't know!?"

"Not wait… um… Madara?" he guessed again.

"You have no idea. Just say I don't know. Why are you even trying?"

"No! I know everything! I always knew everything the whole time. I even knew that you and Naruto would get married in the end."

"lmao at that. We didn't. You know shit." Sasuke laughed.

"I was kidding. I know that this isn't how things work in here. Your world sucks! But you're married in heavens, so~" his eyes glittered.

"lol we are? And you're like, watching and smiling like a loving mom in the background? That's funny!"

"No! Stop laughing already."

"Sorry. Why are you here again?"

"To save you, um… bro."

"Save me from what?"

"From chapter 700."

"Chapter 700?"

"Yeah, I was there minding my own business. Having popcorns and some diet cola, because I'm watching my weight now, And I was watching your gay fight with that dobe of yours, And then I saw this really weird Uchiha guy who looked like dad but with gay haircut! And then something just felt wrong, and I knew that something bad was going to happen to my cute little bro, so I had to come back to life and save you before you lose your good looks."

"I grow ugly? How come? I'm gorgeous!? Always was, will always be!" he frowned.

"Yeah, bad news, bro. You suddenly decided to look like dad and things didn't turn out good for you… I mean, you always looked like mom and I really loved that about you, everyone loved that about you, but I don't know why you had to change that in your late years…"

"Yeah, that's weird… What happened there? I'm not cute anymore…?"

"Cute?! Not even close! Oh and you also grow so fucking tall! Why did you have to be that tall? I hate it!"

"I'm not that tall."

"You will be so fucking tall! Damn you! I hate you!"

"Hey! Why are you so mad at me about this!? Could it be that I grew even taller than you, Nii-san~?" he teased.

"How dare you grow taller than me!? That's unacceptable! You don't get to grow taller than me! Fuck that! Who did this!? Who turned you into this big, ugly thing! Like, ugh!"

"Oh god! You make it sound really awful!"

"Because it is really awful! Like, ugh! My eyes burned when I saw that! I even cried! So disturbing…"

"God… I don't even want to imagine that…"

"That's why I'm here, bro! I'm here to save your ass."

"How? I mean… What could you do? Redesign me?"

"As if I could draw beautiful you! heh, I wish! Nope, drawing is not my thing."

"I thought so too… So how are you going to save me?"

"By killing ya."

"Oh god! You're here to kill me, Nii-san?"

"Fuck…"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Yeah... I'm here to end your life."

Sasuke stared at nothing in particular and said with bent lips,

"I guess I'm okay with dying… I mean I literally have nothing now."

"Really, Sasu? Nothing?"

"Nothing…"

"No one?"

"No one…"

"You have a wife in there, btw."

"A wife? Who's the lucky girl?"

"This pinked haired girl. Oh! that reminds me! You ungrateful bastard!"

"Hey! Woow! What happened there? Why are you suddenly mad at me?"

"You misused my thing! How dare you?"

"Sorry, your thing?"

"Why the fuck did you poke that girl's forehead?"

"Oh... that…" he looked troubled.

"Yeah, THAT! That was my thing! How dare you misuse my thing!?"

"Oh… you saw that… um.. funny story, I was about to leave konoha again and go wander around aimlessly like a hobo... then I had to go OOC for a moment there, not sure why tho."

"Fuck you! I had nightmares about that!"

"You had nightmares in heaven?"

"Yeah! Because this was really an eyesore to watch! That I couldn't find peace even in heavens!"

"Oh… sorry about that…"

"I spent years working on that so I could use it in my death scene! I was working on that epic moment all my life! And then you just had to ruin the whole thing with that OOC poke!"

"I'm sorry! It was so OOC of me... I'd erase it if I could… really! I would totally erase it."

"You even used it on someone you don't love! For god's sake, Sasuke!"

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Forgive me, nii-san."

"Dammit, don't call me Nii-san… that's my weakest spot."

"But you are my nii-san."

"Tsk… I fucking love you. I can't be mad at you."

"You're too kind. I love you too, nii-san."

"Alright, already! Stop being cute."

"Cute? You think I'm cute?"

"Yes! I do! and I'm going to save you before you turn into that ugly monster."

"Ugly Monster!?"

"Ugly! Hideous! Eww!"

"Oh god, please do something about it!"

"You need to die, Sasuke! You need to die now!"

"You think? Maybe if I take good care of my skin then I won't turn out to look like that…"

"No! It's not optional. It's either you die now or you become a monster. What do you have to live for anyway?"

"I really have nothing…"

"I can't believe that you have nothing, Sasuke. After all what you went through... You at least get to keep something…"

"Nothing… Zero… Nil…"

"How come? Where are you Taka team and your stupid boyfriend?"

"Taka is gone… and my "stupid boyfriend" is now married to some girl…"

"That's so sad…!"

"Yeah…"

"You even lost an arm and all…"

"Yeah…"

"So... how about you die with me, one-armed man?"

"Don't tempt me, Itachi. I'm barely holding myself together as it is."

"I don't want to see you suffer, bro. But if you keep on living then the 700 disaster will crash you, torture you and kill the real you! You need to die, man. You need to die now!"

"You're scaring me, Itachi."

"You should be scared. I've seen some deep shit going on in there! You don't want to be there. You don't want to see this."

"Then, kill me. End my misery for me."

"You can always come back like I do, you know. You don't have to act all sad and depressed. This is supposed to be funny, you know. Don't turn it into a sad fic about you."

"It's sad… I can't help it... I think I'm going to cry…"

"Shit! No! Don't even think about crying! When you cried, the enter fandom cried with you! No, not in this one you won't."

"… OK…I'll just hold my tears…."

"Dammit, Sasuke! No I feel like crying! Stop! What are you doing to me? My little heart can't take it…"

"Sorry…"

"Oh god, I love you so much bro. I would totally marry you if we weren't siblings."

"Yeah, I know."

"Hey! Don't just agree with me! Act surprised or something!"

"Why?"

"I mean you could also act angry about it... like, what the hell nii-san! that's sick!"

"Why? What's the point?"

"So it would sound funny or cute or something..."

"Um… how are you going to kill me, Itachi?"

"Oh… I totally forgot about my mission on earth! Thanx for reminding me."

"lol, you're nothing like Itachi, but go on."

"I'm going to stab you in the heart."

"Yeah I've been through that before. And I survived somehow. So I'm not sure if it will work."

"As if I could stab my cute little brother in the heart! No... I was kidding... but Madara sucks, btw. I mean killing my cute bro even tho you look exactly like his little bro! Such a bastard… driving a sword through his "brother's heart" with straight face on. That guy went to hell. It was epic."

"Yeah... Back to our issue, Itachi. How are you going to kill me?"

"Poison you?"

"Yeah, that won't work either. I developed this strong body when I was with Orochimaru. Poison doesn't really affect me much."

"Oh! I totally forget about that. Then I'll drown you to death! How about it?"

"I could swim, you know… My body will react instinctively and I'll just save myself… I can't control that."

"Hmm… How about I just smash your head? Like hold your head with both hands and just slam you by the same wall that I hit when I died? Like Bam! Bam! Bam! Until you die."

"That's horrible… but yeah it could work, Nii-san."

"Fuck…"

"What now?"

"Don't call me Nii-san."

"Why?"

"I can't… I can't kill you like that… Dammit, Sasuke! I told you that this was my weakest spot! Why did you have to call me that now? I can't… I can't do it!"

"But I'll grow tall and ugly…!"

"Yeah, you do… Shit, I must kill you!"

"Then do it. I'll even turn so you won't have to look at my face."

"God… man… oh… my brother… my beloved brother… my one and only brother… I love you…"

"Why are you crying? You'll make me cry as well! Stop!"

"I can't! tears falling down against my will! My heart hurts! Oh god…"

"Please, stop… Now my heart hurts..!"

Sobbing Itachi, "I'm sorry, Sasuke. I need to go. I can't do it! I can't do it."

"You're leaving me behind?"

"Oh… stop! You're torturing my soul! I want to save you but I can't kill you! I really can't kill you..."

"Yeah… I understand that… That's exactly what the dobe said to me once... want to save me without killing me..."

"That bastard! How dare he leave you alone? Such ungrateful bastard."

"I don't think he had a choice. This is how horrible this ending is. You don't get to chose."

"I feel ya…"

"So anyway, Nii-san, You can go enjoy your after life. I'll come soon and be with you. It's all right. I can handle this. I've been through worse."

"I love you, bro. I love you for not making me kill you. Even tho you killed me and put me in peace... then you cried a river for doing it.. then your life became hell after it... people hated you for loving me... wanting t avenge me... You don't deserve this shit, Sasuke..."

"Yeah, and you had to come back and drop this bomb on me. But it's okay. I know that this OOC Sasuke is fake. I mean, he's nothing like me, so why pretend that this strange guy is me?"

"Yeah! Yeah! Totally! That ugly monster isn't the real you! He's nothing like you. I don't know where he got his looks from."

"My story ended with me laying on the ground next to Naruto. I died there. I didn't really survive."

"I'm totally okay with this, you know! The OOC poke came next, so… this will ease my pains."

"Yeah. Thanx for coming to save me. I'll be joining you soon."

"Bring the Fox kid with ya. He deserve better too."

"Yeah, sure."

"Well, then! adios bro~"

"So OOC, Itachi." Sasuke smiled.

"This whole thing was so OOC. Any shit can happen after 700. I have spanish accent now and I dance the flamenco. this is like my new thing up there.."

"Okay, whatever you say. Have a safe trip."

"Yep. Don't be late! We have parties like every night in there! You'll love it!"

"Sounds cool." he smiled painfully.

"Bye, Ottoto-yo."

"Bye, Nii-san."

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Itachi died for the third time then went and watched The Last movie... Oops! O.o!

The end..?!


	2. Chapter 2

**Itachi's Nightmare - 2**

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**Note: Anti Ending / Anti 700 / Anti SasuSaku / OOC / You have been warned**

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Summary: Itachi saw chapter 700 (The future) was so shocked that he came back from the dead again to get some answers from his little bro. Just for fun lol, Hope you like it xD

Sasuke was sitting alone when a very familiar voice suddenly resonated again from behind,

"I don't know how you put up with all of this bullshit, little brother."

Sasuke said in a dull voice,

"Oh, look. Itachi. It's you again. Why am I not surprised?"

"Thought I'd pass by on my way to hell."

"You're going to hell?"

"To pay a visit only. I feel like taunting Madara again just for the hell of it."

"I see. Go get him, man. Make him cry."

"I will make him suffer for what he did to you, little brother."

"Thanks. So why are you here, again?"

"Um... I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Um... Are you like in love, Sasuke?"

Sasuke blushed,

"Aaah… why do you ask that?"

"Um, I saw this very disturbing thing that I'm not sure what to say about."

"What "very disturbing thing"?" he said in troubled voice.

"I didn't know that you were in love with this girl…"

"Girl?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Are you in love with this pink-haired girl, Sasu!?" he crooked an eyebrow.

Sasuke place a funny WTF-look on his face,

"WUT!?"

"It's ok to tell your Nii-san about these kind of things, you know. Why couldn't you share such a thing with me, bro? Is it like a secret?"

"I don't know where you got that from, but I sure as hell don't love any pink-haired girl."

"Stop lying, Sasuke. Don't insulting me."

"I'm not lying! Why the fuck would I lie about this?"

"I don't know… maybe you want to keep it a secret or something."

"It's no secret! I insulted this girl you're talking about so openly over the years without a hint of hesitation!" He scorned and added,

"She kept trying to guilt-trip me by confessing her feelings again and again just to stop me from doing what I wanted! Can you believe this girl!"

Itachi pinched his chin,

"Oh! Yeah, I heard about the cruel stab-in-the-heart genjutsu! That was so merciless of you! Didn't this girl save you just few chapters ago from getting lost in that other dimension?"

"Yeah. I was hoping that she wouldn't get the wrong idea. I kinda saw it coming tho, I mean I did hold her in my arm so she won't collapse, but I didn't really mean anything romantic by it. I guess I made a mistake there. I should've let her fall on the ground instead. So annoying."

"Wow you really can't stand this girl, huh?"

"She doesn't care! She doesn't understand a thing about me! She only cares about my looks. I always hated that about her."

"She seems strong to me…" 6.6 Itachi said.

"She is fine when I'm not there! But once she sees me, she turns into this annoying teenaged girl that shows nothing but how shallow she is ! I really hate it when she does that confession thing. She's like, "stop wanting vengeance because I'll love you forever" How is that selfless? Ugh."

"I see. You have a point. She wants you to stop so she could have you for herself."

"Yeah, but she puts it in a different way, like, "I care about you, I wish I could take your pain, I want you to be happy." but she's also like, "Stop wanting revenge, stop caring about your past, stop rejecting my love for you." x( You see what I'm dealing with here?"

"I see… maybe you need to tell that to her face? or maybe show her how much you hate it?"

"I did call her annoying more than once. Didn't work. She keeps coming back." =/

"I think it's because you sometimes show her your kind side. Like that hold you just told me about. You should've let her fall instead, so she won't get the wrong idea."

Sasuke scoffed,

"You got that right. She apparently thought that my hold meant something "romantic". I was only trying to save myself really. And I'd hold anyone who was in her place, even if it was Obito. They're my comrades, you know. And I also needed them to get me back to the battlefield so I could join Naruto again." =3

Itachi looked troubled. he said,

"I see… um… bro?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I have pretty bad news for you..."

Sasuke sighed and put expressionless face on,

"Oh, really? Another bomb. Look how surprised I am."

"Yeah… you're ending really sucks, Sasuke. I'm in pain for you."

Sasuke grabbed his forehead and shook his head in disappointment,

"Would you do me a favor and kill me for real this time, Itachi?"

"Sorry, can't help you there, bro."

"I thought so…"

Itachi rolled his eyes then said,

"Sorry to be the one to tell you about this but… there is something you should know."

"I don't think I want to hear this, Itachi."

"Um.. I kinda wanna say it tho."

"Oh my god! Are you enjoying this?!"

"A little…"

"Damn you! And I thought you loved me!"

"I do love you but I also enjoy teasing you, so…"

"God! You're the worst!"

"Nope! Your ending is the worst."

"It just keeps getting worse, huh? Tsk."

"Yeah, it does."

"What is it? What's the bad news?"

Itachi passed a photo to Sasuke,

"Check this out."

Sasuke looked at it, raise his eyes and asked,

"Looks like Karin. Who's that?"

"Um… look again."

"She has Karin's glasses. Who's that?"

"Look again and this time try to take a good look at her."

Sasuke looked again then said,

"Karin with dark hair and dark eyes. What's so important about this child, Itachi?"

"Do you see any Uchiha resemblance in her?"

"This is a Uchiha child?" o.O

"Yea— I don't acknowledge her existence, so I'm not gonna answer that." =T

"What's the deal with this girl, Itachi? There's something so repellent about her."

Itachi laughed:

"Oh god! I'm nominating you for the worst father award, Sasuke"

"Aah… what?" he slightly shook his head.

"That's your child, Sasuke."

"Come again?" he put his poker face on and blinked.

"Yep, your Salada." xD

"Salad? What the fuck does that mean?"

"This means you had a one night stand with a girl." =3 he shut his eyes and grinned stupidly.

Sasuke opened his eyes widely in a shock,

"WUT!?"

The shutter of the mobile camera reasoned. Itachi looked at the screen and said,

"Yeah. That's the face I wanted to see. Priceless."

"WTF, Itachi! You're toying with my feelings! Stop!"

"Nope, I'm not. This really is your future daughter."

"I have a daughter in there?"

"Yep, that's her."

He blinked,

"I marry Karin?"

"Karin? Nooo. Guess again."

"I have a one night stand with Karin?"

"I thought I made it clear that there's no Karin in there with that long "Nooo". Try again."

"What do mean "Noooo"? This girl looks exactly like Karin! She even has the same face expression and the same glasses."

"Yeah, but everything is so fuck up in the future so no. Not Karin's daughter."

He argued,

"She Looks Exactly Like KARIN!" x(

"Oh I know. But she's not her daughter. I told you why. "The 700" disaster! Remember?"

"Oh… Okay…Um… I don't want to ask but…" he shut his eyes and asked,

"Who's the mother?" Dx

"You don't want to know."

"It's that bad?"

"Oooh yes it is."

"Oh god… I really don't want to know this."

Sasuke looked at the picture again and said,

"What's her name? This little Karin?"

"Stop teasing people by repeating the fact that this girl looks like Karin, will ya?"

"I can't lie. I mean she does look like Karin."

"I told you her name just a minute ago but you didn't get what I meant because her name is so stupid that you won't get it without putting it in a full sentence."

"Really? What is it? I'm not sure I heard you say any names."

"Oh I'm so hungry! I think I'll have some Salada!" =}

"We're talking here. Why are you changing the topic?"

He laughed like an idiot, "I'm really not."

"What's her name?"

"I even gave you the name in a full sentence, yet you didn't get it! Hilarious!" he laughed like an old geezer.

"Wha… No!" =O he widened his eyes.

"Yes." 8) he grinned.

"No fucking way!" D=

"Oh, yes! You better believe it!" 6.6

"Her name is Salada!"

Itachi nodded with stupid smile on his face. Sasuke gaped his mouth in surprise,

"Salada?!" he frowned, "Why?"

"Seriously Sasuke, what were you thinking naming your kid Salada? Did you mean it as a joke and someone out there believed it and went along with it?"

"I don't…" he shook his head not knowing what to make of it.

"I mean you could've named her after mother. Mikoto is a very cute name, you know. I'd totally name my daughter Mikoto. Uchiha Mikoto, such a beautiful name. I called it first."

"Well, too bad you're already dead. I could name my child Mikoto anytime I want."

"Except you didn't! You named her, Salada! Seriously, Sasuke, what were you thinking?"

Sasuke grabbed his chin, puffed his cheek and said with raised eyebrows,

"Maybe I was feeling hungry and wanted to have a salad. I mean I love vegetables. You put all the vegetables that I love in one bowl and you get a perfect side dish called, Salad."

"So you named your child after your favorite dish!? You're really something." totally judging his brother.

"Hey! I've nothing to do with this!"

"O'really?" =I

"That's in chapter 700, right?"

"Yep! The disaster chapter, "The 700"."

"So this is the same ugly guy you told me about. That's not me. I refuse to be that guy."

"To tell you the truth, that guy looks nothing like you. He's so OOC in every aspect."

"I thought so. I would've never got married in the first place."

"Why? You'll only marry Naruto, right?" He drooled.

"Well…" He blushed.

"No, really. Why not get married, Sasuke?"

"And resurrect the cursed clan? No, thank you."

"Why? Let them kill each other for those so-damn-awesome eyes! It will be a much better ending than this bullshit you're doing."

"I'd like for my family history to stay untouched. I also want to be the last Uchiha. I kinda like being the last Uchiha. The title is kinda cool. Would totally work as a movie title."

"That's a really good title. Dammit, I'm so envious of you right now."

"Yeah, I'm awesome and I know it." =

"I actually want to drop a heavy bomb on you because of this."

"That's so mean, Itachi. You know that I have nothing left... let me be happy with this."

"Yeah... life is cruel sometimes, bro."

"Hey! Don't do this!"

Itachi raised his eyebrows and said, 6,6

"Well, Let me tell you who's the lucky girl!"

"Oh no you don't!"

"You—

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it!"

"Marry—

"Lalalalalalalaaa! Can't hear ya!" he shut his ears and sung.

"Haruno!"

"NOOOO!"

"Sakura!"

"Noooooo!"

"Muahahahaha." xD

Sasuke stretched both hands and frowned his eyebrows,

"God… Why? Why did you have to do this to me?"

Itachi messed his brother's hair,

"For fun." 6,6

"You're going to hell because of this, Itachi!"

"Still a better ending than yours."

"Take me with you, please!" =_=

"I wish, I mean you have looks, body, voice… you'd make a good stripper up there."

"Oh god…" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Still a better ending than your current one."

"Can't argue with that."

"So, anyway, bro, I'll be seeing ya."

"No, please. Stop coming back. You're only crushing me. You're not helping."

"How is this not helping? I'm preparing you for what's coming next! You should be thankful, you ungrateful fool!"

"But you keep bring bad news. never good news! Always bad news!"

"I'll try to bring good news sometimes to make it up for ya."

"Don't you have any good new now? I'm so desperate here…"

"Um… Let's see… The Last Movie? Nope, that's bad news. The Bolt movie? Big nope, that's even worse… um…" He shook his head and bent his lips,

"Sorry, bro. I've got nothing but bad new for ya."

"Why is this happening to me?"

"You deserve better bro. You really do. Hang on in there. It's going to end soon."

"Yeah... sure…"

"Yeah… Ta-ta."

"Whatever…"

"No Sayonara? No kiss ? No hug? No nothing?"

"You'll come back again. What's the point?"

"Yeah, I will. haha this is fun." =}

"Damn you."

"See ya when I see ya. Hang in there, bro. Love ya."

"Yeah… love you too, Nii-San…"

* * *

There you have. and yes he's coming back again. He just keeps coming back! It's like his new thing x)


End file.
